If you want to improve, you have to take action. To prove it, I've just finished my first 30 day challenge of speaking with 3 strangers per day. It started out rocky and boy was it scary. But none of the negative scenarios in my head happened. After just 30 days, my life is more colorful and I've broken a key limitation which I never thought I would. I implore you to do it now as I kick off my next 30 day challenge.

We do this action everyday. 99% of the time, we do this action without thinking at all. Yet, when you feel the nerves get the better of you, when you feel a sense of dread to speak, either to a stranger, or to a meeting of senior executives, by taking a moment to focus on this one simple action, you'll find a level of control. By not having to worry about running out of breath or a quivering voice, you'll have the mental capacity left over to actually engage in intelligent conversation.

Let's kick off 2018 with an important realization. Your willpower is important but willpower alone will not help you break your introvert limitations. Wanting to be more social or wanting to be more charismatic doesn't make you so. No amount of reading books or blogs is going to make that happen. You need something else on top of your willpower to make change happen. That something else isn't big. It's something you can do right now.

As we approach the festive season, the end of 2017 is drawing near. It's a great time to reflect on the 12 months that have been and think about what you want to change in 2018. We have compiled the most popular blog posts of 2017 and the top 3 simple actions you can take in 2018 to help you break out of your self imposed limitations. In matters of self improvement, trust in the process and the outcome will follow.

It's one of the first facial expressions all new born babies exhibit. They do it because they need the love and protection of their parents. It's also a trait that extroverts exhibit that gives them a distinct advantage in conversations. Somehow, introverts lost the ability to display this facial expression along the way. But it's very easy to get it back and it's free. Along the way, you can also make someone's day while equalizing another extrovert advantage.

If you've never failed at something, you've never learnt how to get what you want. Time and again, as introverts, we prefer the long term pain of the status quo over the short term pain of failure if we aim for what we want and miss. In our lives, in our career, in our romantic relationships, too often we settle for the current state. But nobody, nobody gets what they want without first taking a risk. You don't need to risk your house, just take the risk of standing behind your own ideas.

There is a simple thing you can do to get what you want. Getting what you want is simple but not easy. It requires effort, which means you need to overcome your initial inertia of doing nothing. But there is a simple formula to overcoming that inertia. Imagine a life where your great ideas are recognized, where your contributions are appreciated, and you have what you want. Just follow the simple formula and you will be on your way. 

Being an introverted people pleaser is painful. But there is an easy way to stop suffering from the effects of your people pleasing attitude. It's not a disease to be "cured" as some books proclaim but it is a reality of your personality. You don't need books to help you overcome it, and you don't need messy formulas to recall when the situation arises. You just need to take five simple steps and you're done.

An introvert's biggest weakness is we can't show off our intelligence, our well thought through ideas, and our well intentioned nature. An extroverts greatest strength is that they don't care whether what they say has any value. They just say it. So they always get the attention and are always front of mind with decision-makers. So let's even out the playing field. Let's lower the our own thresholds on when to say something. Just say it, even if it's stating the obvious. 

Your time and attention are valuable, so take charge of who you give them to and when. If you want other people to respect your time and attention, you have to start by respecting them yourself first. All the modern tools that were designed to make our lives easier, actually make it more difficult to control our time and attention. But there are three things we can do right now to take back control of our time and attention.

We keep overlooking the most important question we need to ask ourselves at the end of each day. Life gets busy, we think about tomorrow without fully appreciating today, without taking the lessons learnt and making sure we don't make the same mistakes. Yet as introverted thinkers, we always feel there is more to us, more to give. So ask yourself one important question at the end of each day, and you will soon start to change how you see yourself and the world around you. 

We've all been there. An opportunity arrives to push out of our comfort zone, yet we retreat from it because we have a hundred reasons not to. Above all else, we justify to ourselves that there's always next time. There's always tomorrow right? I can make a small change tomorrow or I can pick it up tomorrow. I can talk to that girl next time. Just remember though, there won't always be a tomorrow. There will come a time where tomorrow is too late. So start now. 

As introverted people pleasers, we need to let go of that big lie that was taught to us since we were kids. Work hard, be polite, then you will get a good job and a good wife/husband. Growing up, everything we were taught, saw, and assessed against reinforced this right. BUT in the real world, this is complete and utter rubbish. There is a single action you can take today to start getting noticed and be valued for the thoughts and ideas you bring to the table. You can do it right now.

There is a single solid blocker you need to recognize and overcome in order to improve. Steve Jobs didn't become Steve Jobs overnight. He developed his personality traits over his lifetime, made mistakes, and learnt from them. You can read a million books and go to a million coaching sessions, but until you (and nobody else) overcome this solid blocker, nothing will change. And the way to overcome this blocker is simple: trust in the process to get to the outcome.

Go and read this management classic now! I can't stress this enough. As an introvert, how often have you felt or wondered why as right as you are, you feel like you just lack influence? It's not that your facts and figures are wrong, it's just that you haven't opened up your audience's mindset to be receptive to you. So get familiar with the six triggers in the book and before a meeting or presentation, think about how they can be used to set the scene.

A foundation exercise for everyone to adopt. Stop saying sorry so often, stop saying sorry even when you're not in the wrong (like getting off your seat to let someone pass). Our tendency to say sorry so often is perhaps a small indicator reflecting how we see ourselves internally. So if the two are connected then by changing when you say sorry (i.e. when you're actually in the wrong), perhaps we can begin to develop more confidence and enjoy being who we are. Save your sorry for the bigger things in life.