How to calm your nerves and unleash the real YOU

“I think it’s healthy for a person to be nervous. It means you care - that you work hard and want to give a great performance. You just have to channel that nervous energy into the show.”

— Beyonce Knowles

One of the biggest blockers to us realising the best version of ourselves is nervousness. You feel it in many different ways but it most commonly manifests itself in sweaty palms, elevated hear rate, perspiration on your forehead and body, dry mouth, and difficulty breathing (mainly because you’re holding you breath).

All these things combine to mess with your mind. You lose your train of thought, you lose the ability to speak clearly without choking up, you go red in the face, and as I have experienced recently, you sweat and it shows up through your shirt. Embarrassing!!!! Worse, it makes you feel even more nervous and you sweat more.

There is a simple way to calm your nerves though and it’s something that’s taught to Navy Seals and armed forces around the world. There is some truth to the saying “… take a deep breath and calm down…”.

WHAT IS IT?

We’ve always been told that deep breathing has many benefits and before a big meeting, I’m always told to take a deep breath and ground myself. But nobody every explained to me why deep breathing works and how best to do it.

So I did some research, a lot of research. There are many breathing techniques out there, but the one I found most effective for me and most easy to do that really calms my nerves is the Vagus nerve breathing technique. How do you do it? Simple:

• Take a deep breathing in through your nose.

• Count how many seconds your inhale is (as long as is comfortable).

• Try visualising yourself filling up the lower part of your lungs just above your belly button like a balloon.

• Breathe out through your nose.

• Double the count of your inhale.

• Repeat.

So if your long deep inhale is two seconds, then your long deep exhale should be four seconds. Don’t try to push it longer. This isn’t a breath holding contest. Simply inhale for as long as is comfortable for you. Do this a few times until you can feel your nerves calm down.

WHY DOES IT WORK?

It works because it activates your Vagus Nerve (no, it’s nothing sexual). It is the single most important nerve in your body that all organs in your body are connected to. When you do the above breathing exercise, you activate your Vagus Nerve. When the nerve is activated, it slows down your “flight or flight response” and therefore reduces your feelings of nervousness.

Activating your Vegus Nerve regularly also improves your heart rate variability. What does this mean? It means that your body becomes more accustomed to changes in heart rate so that next time your heart rate becomes elevated because of a big event or meeting (or hot date) you would feel less nervous and hopefully remember to breathe.

Putting in together

So there are two actions you should take to leverage the full benefits of activating the Vagus Nerve.

Tactical:

• Use Mel Robbins technique to count backwards from 5 (5. 4. 3. 2. 1) to clear your mind.

• Then activate your Vagus Nerve with the above breathing technique. Repeat until you feel calm.

You can do the above before a big meeting or in a meeting before you want to put your points forward. You’ll feel a little more confident and at the very least, you won’t end up speaking like a machine gun.

Strategic:

• On a regular basis, activate your Vagus Nerve with the above breathing technique.

• Do this at regular times throughout the day. Try before you open your emails.

Navy Seals and armed forces around the world do this. It helps the body get used to heart rate changes and lower the impact nervousness has on you.

Want more information, the article on Diaphragmatic Breathing can explain it further.

Photo by Judeus Samson on Unsplash