Looking confident while working remotely

“With realisation of one’s own potential, and self-confidence in one’s own abilities, one can build a better world.”

— Dalai Lama

This is now month seven of working from home for me and to be completely honest. I am quite over it. The COVID situation has gotten better in the city that I live in so the office is now open but there are very few people physically coming in. And given that the organisation’s hub is in another city (where the COVID situation is more elevated), remote working is likely to continue for some time. Even when COVID is over (when not if), the flexible work arrangements it has ushered in will likely mean that remote working, videoconferencing from home (and teleconferencing when technology fails) is likely to become a significant fixture in our working lives.

For a recovering people pleaser, introverted thinker, and a person with an unhelpful dash of shyness, videoconferencing can feel like an absolute roadblock to progressing my self improvement journey. I don’t what the psychological reason is but expressing your self confidence feels extremely difficult in the virtual space. Maybe it’s because it’s difficult to get your point across when multiple people are talking at once (the Chair really needs to direct the flow of traffic), maybe it’s the sound quality causing you to hear only parts of a conversation (and vice versa), or maybe the process of unmuting yourself can trigger the need to mentally mute your ego. Whatever the reason, I have found that I need an added dose of reminders that I thought I had embedded before each videoconference meeting in order to get myself back on track. I remember one time, I was muted by another attendee, and it did so much damage to my self confidence that I almost said nothing for the rest of the meeting. Admittedly, it was a person attack but he was just trying to control the conversation as multiple people were talking at once (and he muted almost everyone too). But it didn’t stop the negative message playing out in my head.

So to help you get back on you journey to becoming the best version of yourself, in this remote working environment, here are the pertinent steps we all need to take in order to break through the barrier presented by the realities of the new ways of working.

SET UP YOUR BEST VISUAL IMPRESSION

We’ve all seen it and had a good laugh. You’re on a videoconference and at least one attendee is too close to the camera where you only see part of their face, or is too far from the camera, or the image is too dark (because the light is shining behind them), or the background is so messy (or bland) that you can’t help but comment on it. I’ve had comments where because the room I’m in has windows that are high up, it looks like I’m in a prison cell.

The wonderful thing is that given it is your room, you can take a few minutes to organise the room, camera, your clothes, etc. to present the best image of yourself. Below are some of the key things to prepare to set yourself up in the best light:

• Clothing: Most men don’t think about this but we really should. Keeping it simple, avoid clothes that are striped or have multiple colours. These create funky patterns on camera that can be really distracting. Also avoid clothes that have massive logos, which can also be distracting. A collared shirt is also preferable. Yes you are working from home and you don’t need a suit and a tie, but you shouldn’t come across as if you’re on holidays. I’ll never forget the humorous sight a few years ago where my boss was about to attend a Hawaiian shirt themed work event that day and lost his temper in a meeting immediately before. No matter how hard he tried, it was very hard to take a man seriously when he is wearing a loud Hawaiian shirt.

• Camera angle: Most professional photographers know this but the rule of one third applies. Don’t set yourself up in the centre of the screen but rather to either side (hence the rule of one third). Some camera apps have grid lines specifically for this reason. Also, don’t be too close to the camera or too far. You should be at a distance where attendees can see your head, shoulders, arms, and hands. Your hands do a lot to support your message so it’s important to show them. Some videoconferencing apps such as TEAMS do automatically adjust the width depending on the number of participants, so you may want to view yourself from time to time to make sure your optimal position is being shown.

• Backdrop: This should be obvious but judging by the number of messy rooms I’ve seen, it isn’t as obvious. Before the meeting, turn on your camera and just ask yourself whether it is appropriate for the likely tone of the meeting. Not being messy is common sense but also check that colour items are out of view so that they don’t cause distractions or the green screen effect. I was on a TEAMS call the other day where the lady’s green shirt cause only her face to show up when using one of the virtual backgrounds. Don’t overly curate your background (i.e. bookshelf with a select handful of intelligent sounding books). You just look like you’re trying too hard.

ACTIONS TO PROJECT CONFIDENCE

Just as in a physical meeting, there are specific actions you can take to project confidence and get your point heard. These are simple actions, which when done consistently, make a massive difference to the impact of what you are saying.

• Eye contact: This is going to sound strange in a remote working environment but it’s important to maintain eye contact in a videoconference. How? I hear you ask. Simple, just look at the camera, which normally has a light to indicate its on. Don’t stare at it, just as you don’t stare at people in a physical meeting. But when you’re speaking, look into the camera for a few seconds and then look at the reactions of others on screen and then back to the camera. This will give the impression that you are talking directly to them but also gives you the opportunity to see their reactions and determine whether your message needs to be recalibrated. As per Jordan Peterson, you don’t know if your message has hit the mark, if you don’t actually look at the people you’re speaking to.

• Take up space: Like you would in a physical meeting, taking up more space helps you to feel more confident (Amy Cuddy) but also project confidence. This is why it’s important to set your camera back a little so people can see your shoulders and hands. You’ll only get half the benefit of taking up space if all people can see is your face. As simple as this action is, it’s important to make do and remind yourself constantly. As you stare at the laptop or tablet, it’s all too easy to fold yourself in and before you know it, you are looking highly defensive even though you don’t intend to. The video below from Vanessa Van Edwards best illustrates why its important to have a broad and open posture.

• Speak confidently: Your mood affects your voice. Sounding angry does not project confidence. If you want people to not listen to you, then try to sound angry when you talk each time and see how quickly people tune out. Using Vanessa Van Edwards’ video below, it’s best to sound slightly happy (hence the need to power pose and take up space) in order to genuinely connect with people. Importantly, speak into the microphone. Unless you’re a professional podcaster, you’re most likely relying on the built-in microphone on the laptop or tablet. These are obviously not designed to capture your voice perfectly. So do yourself a favour, identify where the microphone is and make sure you speak to it. The designers of these devices generally have common sense and you’ll often find the microphone close to the camera. Which makes it more important for you to look into the camera when speaking.

Photo by Anna Shvets from Pexels