3 Body Language Actions to Look More Social
/“Although our body language governs the way other people perceive us, our body language also governs how we perceive ourselves and how those perceptions become reinforced through our own behaviour, our interactions, and even our physiology.”
This is one of the most practical and useful videos I have come across on actions that anyone (and in my mind particularly introverts) can take to appear more attractive. Attractive not just in the romantic sense, but attractive in the sense of appear more social, and more open.
To Amy Cuddy's quote above, a positive and open body language not only impacts how other people perceive you but importantly, it also impacts how you feel about yourself. And through my research, this theory has been reiterated by many other "influencers", including Tony Robbins and his theory on physiology and the often quoted line of "motion drives emotion".
It's a relatively short nine minute video with accurate demonstrations but in summary, the three actions everyone can take to appear more attractive are:
- Action 1: Expand your whole arm and avoid T-Rex arms. I started paying attention to this over several weeks and I noticed that in the majority of times, I was doing T-Rex arms. When I pointed at things or just generally being animated in conversation, my elbows were close to my body, even when there were no physical space constraints. Upon reflection, it really does look unappealing. As I consciously focussed on expanding my arm movements, I did notice more engagement from the people I was having a conversation with.
- Action 2: Be present and relish that the fun is where you are. Let's be honest, we have all done this. We're gathered with our friends or colleagues but we are constantly looking around to see who else we can go speak with or what else we can do. If you haven't done it yourself, you've probably had it done to you. How did you feel when the person you're speaking with keeps looking around? You probably feel a bit insulted and looked for ways to cut the conversation short. Conversely, how many times have you noticed that when you're engaged in conversation, others tend to congregate around you and want to join in? When this happens, bring them into the conversation.
- Action 3/4: Smile (there's actually 4 actions in the video). This action resonates with me the most as I've been focussed on making eye contact and smiling at strangers per my previous blog posts. But I've picked up an improvement through this video, which I found to have a big impact. Don't just smile when you're talking to someone, smile before you open your mouth. You'll notice that it forces the other person to smile back and before the conversation has even begun, you've set it off on a positive note.
Blog Photo by Ben White on Unsplash.