Amy Cuddy - Presence: TED 2014

Summary

This is one of the most famous TED Talks and is in my view, one of the best for introverts to help prepare for meetings, key events or that big moment. Professor Amy Cuddy talks about the poses each of us can take to quickly feel more confident and potentially remove (albeit temporarily) some of the self limiting beliefs most introverts have. She also has a book called Presence, which goes into theory and research behind her suggestions. For me, the key points are captured succinctly in the TED Talk.

Key Actions / Lessons

  • Just as how you feel and influence your body posture, the reverse is also true. Alter your body posture and you can alter how you feel.
  • When you need to give your self confidence a boost, go somewhere private, stand in a power pose (hands on hips, feet should width apart) for a few minutes.
  • If you need a boost in meetings, expand the amount of space you take. Feet firmly planted on the ground and arms shoulder width apart.
 

http://www.ted.com In a culture where being social and outgoing are prized above all else, it can be difficult, even shameful, to be an introvert. But, as Susan Cain argues in this passionate talk, introverts bring extraordinary talents and abilities to the world, and should be encouraged and celebrated.

Susan Cain - The power of introverts: TED 2012

Summary

I've wanted to read Susan Cain's book Quiet. But like most of you, time has been a constraint so her TED Talk will be a nice shortcut. From her research, 30% to 50% of society are introverts. Society currently prefers action over contemplation, loud and brash personalities over conservative and considered personalities. For this reason, introverts are often passed up for leadership positions. However, research consistently shows that introverts make better leaders (guess they don't hog the limelight). In open plan offices, introverts often feel more tired due to the constant noise and engagement. But her research has led her to one conclusion: embrace your introversion and take action to change the areas that are holding you back. After all, she is an introvert who is now speaking publicly at TED!

Key Actions / Lessons

  • Embrace your introversion and take the time to think. In fact, get out into the wilderness to think and come up with your own breakthroughs. But be brave enough to share your ideas.
  • Introversion and extroversion are two ends of the same scale. You can take action to move along the spectrum.
  • Research shows that introverts achieve greater academic success and also make greater leaders because they make considered decisions and enable their teams better.
  • Introverts make the best leaders when they are championing a cause they truly believe in. Introvert leaders are there for the cause and not there for the limelight.
 

Jia Jiang adventures boldly into a territory so many of us fear: rejection. By seeking out rejection for 100 days -- from asking a stranger to borrow $100 to requesting a "burger refill" at a restaurant -- Jiang desensitized himself to the pain and shame that rejection often brings and, in the process, discovered that simply asking for what you want can open up possibilities where you expect to find dead ends.

Jia Jiang - Lessons from 100 days of rejection: TED 2017

Key Actions / Lessons

  • Don't run away when somebody says "no" or reacts negatively to what you've said. More times than not, you can explore their reactions and learn ways to change their minds.
  • If you acknowledge the weaknesses in what you're asking for (e.g. it's a little weird isn't it?), the other person will no longer be defensive and will be more open to your ideas.
  • If fear of rejection is your weakness, then practice, practice, practice to get over it. 100 days of rejection experiments is probably a little much, but if each day you try something you'd never do normally, you'd soon overcome that weakness.

Summary

This is one my favourite TED Talks. Jia Jiang is not a professor or a famous corporate heavyweight. He is a normal person like you and me who decided to conduct experiments to challenge his fear of rejection. And the results were astounding! He found that in almost all cases, the fears that he had were all in his head. He conducted 100 days of experiments (one a day) and in the end, not only was he no longer fearing rejection, he learnt how to explore why people said "no" and use it to get him closer to his goals. As introverts, we always have these imaginary fears about how other people might react. This TED Talk has excellent lessons for us all.

Shawn Achor - The Happiness Advantage: Linking positive brains to performance

Summary

This is one of the most hilarious and thought provoking talks I have ever come across. Shawn Achor is a psychologist at Harvard and his research has led to a few insights, which I think all of us can embrace or at least consider. The key actions/lessons are:

  • In the office, in schools, and life in general, people tend to manage you to the "average". Why? Because statistically, that is easier. Anybody who is above the mean (or below the mean) are statistical nuisances that we should ignore.
  • However, all of us have inherent preferences, tendencies, and skills, which means we will be above the statistical average in different scenarios. Instead of trying to conform to the norm, why not embrace your inner weirdo. After all, nobody successful has ever done so by conforming to the norm.
  • High performers tend to think that happiness is on the other side of success. If we achieve this goal or that goal, then we can be happy. For example, if I become the CEO, I will be happy, or if I can earn $500k a year, then I will be happy. But that's not how our brains are constructed. If we're not happy (or worse depressed) then we can't utilise the full potential of our brain. We impose all these limitations on ourselves and we let others dictate what we should do. This makes achieving the our goals even more difficult, which makes us even more unhappy. Therefore, we should reverse the thinking. We should aim to be happy first, which opens up our brains, and makes achieving that goal easier. And the best way to be happy, embrace our inner weirdo and stand out from the crowd.

Ashton Kutcher - Three things you need to be successful

Summary

Ashton Kutcher is actually a highly successful investor (which would explain his role in Two and a Half Men). He was one of the first to invest in Skype, Foursquare, and Airbnb. This speech at the Teen Choice Awards is one that I find most inspiring. For those of us who have spent some time working and come up against obstacles, hardships, and office jerks, with the benefit of hindsight, the message is both meaningful and inspiring. It touches on so many points that have been raised in myCorproateDiary. The key takeaways are:

  • His first name is actually Chris. He changed it so he could stand out in the Hollywood crowd. This is similar to the concept of adopting an alter-ego to try to help you break through your self imposed limitations.
  • Opportunity looks like hard work. And that's because it is. You simply can't become who you want to be unless you spend the time and effort to work at it. As mentioned in previous blog post, the actions you take don't have to be big. Make one small change each time, and over the course of a few months, you'll look back and see a different person. But the onus is on you to take that small action.
  • Being sexy. We can't really change our looks but there are things we can do to improve ourselves that make us sexy. Being smart, being thoughtful, and being generous. These are all traits on introverts. One can say that we are inherently sexy. We just need to find a way to show these traits externally.
  • Living life. Finally, this is what myCorporateDiary is all about. Don't think that the world you live in is set in stone. Don't think that your introvert limitations can't be overcome. Life is a lot broader than material things, and the rules are made up by people no smarter than us. So stop hindering yourself and take the action to break out of those limitations.