Have the courage to ask for what is yours

“You get in life what you have the courage to ask for.”

— Oprah Winfrey

I learnt a great lesson from one of my colleagues this week that I think all of us can benefit from. I won't name names but the lesson taught me the importance of speaking your mind, and how easy it was to do it. The main reason that the lesson was so important was because the thought process, which she went through mimics exactly what all of us introverts go through in exactly the same situation. Except as an extrovert, she took that important key last step and got the outcome that she was after. She asked for something that she genuinely believed was rightfully hers.

In life, it's important you ask for what you want. If you don't ask, you won't get.

So my colleague is a bright, up and coming corporate lawyer. She is a mother of two and manages to fit in a very busy schedule at work while simultaneously completing her legal degree. She is direct (in a nice way) but is never shy about her thoughts. Over the weekend, the remote control to her garage door broke and could not be repaired. Naturally, her first priority on Monday morning was to purchase a brand new remote control from a nearby shop that also repairs shoes, leather bags, etc. (there is a name for these kinds of shops but it escapes me for now).

She is a very frequent customer to this shop and the shop owner must recognise her by now. So without thinking twice, she purchase the remote control at a price of $90.

After purchasing the remote control, she decided to google how much it should cost. While $90 wasn't excessive, it did feel a bit expensive. It turns out that the recommended price was just $30! She had been charged (and paid) $90 for a device that was well known to retail at $30 (given its immediate visibility in Google search results). This isn't cost price. $30 was the recommended retail price.

She started to get mad. Very mad. She felt like she had been ripped off (and rightly so). In fact, she would've been happy to pay $60 to get the remote control immediately and have the safety of knowing where to return it to if it didn't work.

But to be charged $90, three times the recommended retail price, was way too excessive. She felt even more ripped off when she considered how much she had already spent at the shop repairing her shoes and handbags. Since she sat next to me, I could feel each and every single peak and trough of emotion as she rationalised to herself out loud what she should do.

Should she stomp up to the shop owner and demand her money back? Should she give him a piece of her mind, especially given that she is a frequent customer? But then, she had already bought and paid for the remote control and it's just socially unacceptable to demand money back. She should've done the research before purchasing the remote control rather than after. Was this now her own fault? But then it's just so unfair to pay three times the price for something that is readily available.

After about 30 minutes of talking to herself out loud (to which I merely admired her ability to keep the conversation flowing), she stood up, looked at me and declared that the price she paid was unfair and that she was going to get back what was fair. She reasoned that she will ask for some of the money back as she was willing to pay a premium for the immediate availability of the remote (if you buy online you have to wait a few days for delivery), and retain the good relationship with the shop owner for future repairs.

With that, she stood up and stormed out of the office to the shop. I wished I had a camera and followed her as it would've been a wonderful lesson learnt but I felt that was socially unacceptable. She came back 10 minutes later, beaming with pride. I couldn't help but ask for details as to what happened.

When she confronted the shop owner with the price online, he immediately turned sheepish and offered to return her the full $90 and offered an apology. She very smartly declined and said she was willing to pay $60 and get $30 back. With that, he pulled out the cash, gave it to her, and apologised again. With this one action, not only did my colleague get back what was fair (which made her feel better) but also cemented the working relationship with a shop that she frequents for repairs to important items in her life.

Why is this event so important that I had to share here. For me, there are two important lessons I took away:

Lesson 1: Have the courage to ask for what is yours. The worst thing that can happen is that the person says no. But then, you wouldn't have lost anything anyway.

Lesson 2: Things aren't black and white. You can strive for a middle ground that leaves both parties happy. In this case, my colleague got back some money that made her feel it was fair, while the shop owner didn't feel like he made a complete loss on the sale.

What do you think will happen next time my colleague visits that shop? I'll bet she is going to get the utmost respect and she will be treated as a VIP.

Blog Photo by Thought Catalog on Unsplash

Further Reading

How to easily command respect in a group

Commanding genuine respect, one that doesn’t rely on your position power is one of the hardest things to do for an introvert. There are five simple actions we can adopt straight away that can help us to establish our presence in the room and command the attention and focus on what we have to say.

How to be Value-Adding

Being seen as value-adding is one of the biggest planks in the foundation of your career success. Here are four simple steps you can take, which if you do consistently, will guarantee that you seen to be contributing meaningfully at work and maximise your chances of promotion and success.

Looking confident while working remotely

It’s hard to project confidence while on video calls. It acts like a barrier that stops us from achieving the best version of ourselves. Be it the sound quality or just trying to get your message across amongst the traffic of voices all trying to chime in at the same time. Here are six simple things to do that will give you the best chance at projecting the best version of yourself on a video call.

How to overcome Social Anxiety

Social anxiety is the single biggest blocker to introverts recognising the best version of themselves. The rapid heart beat, sweat, and mind blanks cause us to lose our perfectly thought through logic. Instead, a jumbled mass of words and ideas come out. The solution isn’t to stop feeling anxious. It is to recognise it and then start focus on the people you are speaking to.

Confrontations - Doing it the right way

Confrontations need not be daunting and one sided. The traditional leadership theories that focus on feelings and behaviours aren’t wrong. But they are missing a core component that make a massive difference. There is a simple framework from Simon Sinek that ties it all together.

STOP your nice guy / girl behaviours

Stop saying yes when you want to say no, and learn to prioritise your needs first. Nobody else is going to make your career goals come true except you. There are simple steps you can take now to stop sabotaging yourself through your nice guy / girl behaviours.

Being the best version of yourself while Working From Home

Don’t let the pandemic cause you to regress on your self improvement journey and fall into the comfort trap while working from home. Take charge of your new routine and refocus on these six foundation steps to get back on your self-improvement journey and use this opportunity to become the best version of yourself.

The key to demonstrating confidence

Your ability to demonstrate confidence is key to your career success, progression, and getting what you want. If you understand frame and can hold it in any interaction, then you will come across as confident. Here are some simple but highly impactful techniques you can use to project confidence.

The key to promotion for introverts

The key to promotion for introverts is to unleash our deep thinking and put them into practice. The mindset shift is to realise, you have to demonstrate you are operating at the next level before you actually get promoted. There is a simple way to demonstrate this by changing what you say and do when you encounter an issue. Use this principle to change your mindset and you will find success.

How to be charming as an introvert

There are a few simple actions you can take, to be as charming as Keanu Reeves, who is a stand-out as an introvert in a very extrovert dominated industry. It doesn’t require you to pretend to be someone you are not, but these five simple actions, give you the tools to embrace your introversion and use them to genuinely connect and interact in the most value-adding way. You will be both charming and unforgettable.

Blog

In life, it's important you ask for what you want. If you don't ask, you won't get.

Lesson 1: Have the courage to ask for what is yours. The worst thing that can happen is that the person says no. But then, you wouldn't have lost anything anyway.

Lesson 2: Things aren't black and white. You can strive for a middle ground that leaves both parties happy. In this case, my colleague got back some money that made her feel it was fair, while the shop owner didn't feel like he made a complete loss on the sale.