9 phrases you need to stop saying today

9 phrases that you need to stop saying today!

“Words are free. It’s how you use them that may cost you.”

— KushandWizdom

OK, so normally, our blogs come with a story or some background to try and paint a picture as to how we arrived at our thoughts or how we've found actions that have helped us to break our introvert limitations. Yes, we're not always the best story tellers but we'd like to think that at least some of our stories are interesting. They at least mean a lot to us. 

BUT!!!!! Not today! Today we are going to try something new. We are going to go tactical and get straight into actions. What's theme of the actions? For today, the theme is:

9 phrases that you should stop using NOW!

These are phrases which when you really think about, are more about making you feel better (or giving yourself a back out plan) than the people you're speaking with. 

STOP SAYING THE FOLLOWING:

• "This might not be useful but..."

Please please stop kicking off your sentences with this negative preamble. It can take many forms, but it is almost always a phrase that relates to reducing the value of what you have to say.... before you've even said it. I know, you're trying to sound humble, heck, the audience knows you're trying to be humble. But all you're actually doing is setting up in the audience's mind that what you have to say is not valuable, and reinforcing in your own mind that your contributions are not valuable. So stop it!

• "No problem"

I am guilty of this. Every time someone asks me to do something or thank me for doing something, I say no problem. What's wrong with this right? Well, it doesn't reinforce in the requestor's mind that effort was actually required to complete the request. Over the course of several requests, the requestor will think their requests will be "no problem" for you. What should you say? How about back to basics phrases like "You're welcome" or "I'll be happy to take care of it" or "I'll look into it and see what's required".

• "I don't want to take up too much of your time but..."

Again, I am guilty of this. Especially to more senior people. I'm trying to recognise how busy they are and show that I realise their time is precious. But what I'm actually doing is taking extra time by uttering this phrase and waiting for their response (e.g. sure, go ahead), and I'm setting in my mind that I'm of lower social value. Again, the solution is simple. Go back to basics. Just say "Excuse me, can I speak to you about xyz?" 

• "My bad"

I've never personally used it but I've heard it many times. Especially from the younger generation. Nothing conveys a lack of authenticity and professionalism than a grammatically incorrect phrase trying to convey an apology. The younger generation (and I mean by just a few years younger) think they are breaking the stuffy neck tie mould. But really all this phrase has done is create an impression that the person saying it isn't really sorry. Go back to basics: "My apologies" or "It was my mistake". Don't try to sound cool when you've made a mistake. Acknowledge it and improve on it.

• "Thanks in advance"

I've spoken with many Executives and 100% of them hate this phrase. Again, the person saying it (or writing it in emails) is trying to convey humility while simultaneously trying to encourage agreement. But what it's doing for the receiver is implying that they will accept the request. As one CEO said to me, "If I can see how important it is, I'll do it. Don't try to influence me with lack of effort jedi wordsmith tricks that I can see through". Instead, focus on the request. Put your effort into stating why the receiver should pay attention to your request and just end with a thank you.

• "Somehow"

"Somehow this happened...", or "We'll get there somehow..." and many other iterations. I'm annoyed just writing this word. One CEO puts its precisely: "The word conveys that you're not in control of the situation. They convey things have magically happened or will magically happen. I'm not paying for magicians, I'm paying for leaders." Stop using the word somehow. 

• "Sort of" or "Kind of"

Nothing conveys a lack of being in control or a lack of confidence more than "I kind of think...." or "It's sort of like..." You either know or you don't know. People don't have a lot of time and as much as you're trying to sound more humble, these two phrases just destroys the value of what you're trying to say. Just remove these two phrases from you mind completely. If you really aren't certain about something, then say so confidently like "I'll look into the details and come back to you" or "I have the same question". If you're really pushed then just call it as it is "My best guess is..."

• "Just..." as in "Can you just take a look at this?"

It's such a redundant word. If you want someone to look at something or do something, then get to the point. The word "just" in such a scenario is redundant and according to Executives I've spoken to, simply childish. The solution is again, back to basics: "Can you take a look at this sentence?" or "Can you take this action".

• "Does this make sense?"

The higher up the career ladder you go, the more important it is that this phrase needs to be removed. One CEO said to me "I don't hire dumb people and I'm not dumb. If something doesn't make sense, I will ask." I can't really expand on such a clear reason why you should remove this phrase from your vocabulary.

So there you have it. A very tactical post on words you should stop saying right now if you want people to perceive you in a confident way. 

Blog photo by Dane Deaner on Unsplash